It is a known fact that for men, thoughts of sex flutter through their minds approximately 200 times a day, in comparison to woman's thoughts that flutter through their mind, which are about everything but sex.. 200 times a day.
It is also a known fact that men are very visual creatures and need to some extent a form of visual stimulation to become aroused, where as women once again differ as they are much more in need of mental and/or emotional stimulation to get her juices flowing... so to speak.
One of the biggest wedges in many relationships today is the difference in each genders desire and physical need for sexual release.
Aside from the small numbers on either genders side who differ from these facts...the majority of couples do struggle with them.
Men's sexual drives are rarely distracted by stress from his life..if anything it will enhance his need to release sexually or transmute a negative energy into a more positive form.
Women on the other hand are totally distracted by stress because their sexual desires are totally connected to their emotions and ability to relax.
We all know these facts and we all discuss them throughout our relationships over and over again...so then why are they still such huge issues between men and women?
Many men have admitted that what baffles them, is that in the beginning of a relationship the females are all about sex...anywhere, anytime and as many times. As the relationship goes on..the desires seem to fall to the wayside if not disappear altogether on the woman's side.
What is needed to remedy this issue is for the couple to find a balance which can only be found through communication and understanding of how each genders mind and body mechanics works.
Knowing thy partner, is to winning sex... what knowing thy enemy, is to winning war!
For most men...The desire for sex, is the most powerful of human desires. As much as it discombobulates their rational thinking, the desire for sex also creates in men... persistence, imagination, patience, creativity and success. Keep in mind that the power which drives the need for sexual contact has driven many men into very deep, dark and cold waters. This fact alone should tell us that in no uncertain terms...it is a very tough thing to ignore. I believe women underestimate just how much men really do try to keep this drive under control. Possibly men themselves do not realize how much potential there is in the energy behind his sex drive. If men could understand and learn to redirect even 10% of it....his possibilities would be endless!
For most women...The desire for sex, is all so new and fresh in the beginning. It is acceptance, it is love, it is what dreams are made of. They have no mental or emotional baggage that deters or clouds their desires. There is no house to keep, children to raise, stretch marks or a body to get back into her jeans. Her mind is occupied with one thing only....that being her man and his needs. She also feels a true and much needed connection through sexual relations as there is no real history or memories to accomplish that at this early stage of the relationship.
Understanding and accepting that as a relationship must grow, some changes are necessary. A woman's time and energy will spread in many other directions such as children and routines. We all know only too well how quickly they become a major part of the relationship and for the women, her daily thoughts and routine begin to suffer, she is no longer free to mentally prepare herself for sexual activities...so she works very hard to fit it in.
She feels its her duty...he feels unwanted...he rushes to spare her...hence the destruction of the human sexual desire between partners.
Believe it or not this is a very common occurrence between couples.
Women begin to 'just do it'..for a lack of a better term..to keep her partner sexually satisfied, not realizing that eventually her partner becomes very aware that what use to be willing, free and fun has turned into a favor of sorts. A favor that, to him, is not a sexual turn on in most cases, it has become a duty.
So where do we find the balance in a relationship that seems to have lost its initial spark and freedom to be what is inborn and natural?
It takes both partners to steer into the same direction. Not the direction of poor me... maybe I will look somewhere else and not bother her anymore....not the direction of....hurry up and finish, will you...I have laundry waiting to be folded...as those are the directions that continue to drive you both further apart.
It is vital in a relationship for partners to stick together..communicate on issues which could be very destructive if ignored. Focus on a plan. Like a vacation...only this should be done several times throughout the year. This plan is all about you the man and you the woman. Together...all alone..to be sexually enjoyed by each other. Be daring... watch the movie..'Sea of Love' if you need ideas. Naked flesh under a raincoat with heels will always be welcome. Touch..touch...touch...ladies.
Men love to be touched...and only you know where. Guys...flowers on an unexpected day will always be worth the effort. Ladies...push him up against the wall..get a bit rough...not to rough...just enough to jump start that surprise attack feeling. Oh, have you ever thought about writing a few sexual letters to each other...or just a note telling him what you are wearing underneath those baggy comfy pants....never, never underestimate the power of passion behind the pen.
